Finding Margin

Ever had unsolicited advice come at you from several unrelated sources in a very short amount of time?  A few months ago, on multiple accounts, I had different individuals, in regards to raising kids, say things like:

"They grow up so fast."

"You'll blink and they will be bigger than you are."

"Enjoy these years, they go by too quickly."

A few months ago is also when we were preparing to close on our new home, and enter an insane season of renovation and moving.  The pressure was building.

On a day to day basis, we do OK.  We have settled into the demands of running a large family.  Meals are planned ahead.  Calendars and to-do lists are created.  Things get done.

But on a day to day basis we are not purchasing a house.  We are not moving.  We are not renovating.

I began to consider what a day in the life of the Jester family looks like.  Busy.  Hyper-structured.  But do-able.  Even sustainable I would have said (after all, we've been maintaining this pace for two years now).  What I realized is that it was do-able and sustainable IF everything went according to plan.  IF no one had to go to the ER.  IF everyone's behavior remained civil.  IF we weren't renovating a home.

But life is messy.  Seasons change.  Stuff comes up.  And the plan doesn't always fall into place.  Then what?

I hadn't totally lost it yet, but I knew I was reaching my limit.  And quickly.  I decided I wanted to heed the advice I had been given.  I wanted to recognize the truly important things in life (my family).  Something had to give.

I approached the leadership at church and let them know how I was feeling.  I asked for a reduced work schedule for the next couple of months, just to get through the renovation and move.  I stopped packing lunches every day and I let the kids eat school lunch (yes, this is a big deal for me but my kids loved it).  I didn't sign up for the new basketball season (a HUGE sacrifice).  I re-worked the family calendar so that we didn't have something going on every night of the week.  I was on a quest to create margin in my life- some room to breath.

The old me, the one with a stubborn and unteachable spirit, would have pushed through.  That Jody would have said "it's only a couple of months.  Suck it up and get through it."  That version of me thrives on people's comments, "How DO you do it all?"  That me likes to have it all together.  Likes hyper productivity.

But there's a new me surfacing.  One that craves some stillness.  Some peace and quiet.  Some down time.  A me that knows that while my physical body may be able to go go go, my spirit needs some rest.

It's been four months since my quest for margin began.  The house is ours.  The bulk of the work is behind us.  A normal work week has resumed.

I sat on the porch this afternoon, surrounded by family.  The french doors leading to our lanai were all opened.  The breeze was incredible.  The house was calm.  I had a few things to do today but nothing incredibly pressing.  My calendar was not overly full.  My soul is happy.  There is room to breath.

Basketball starts up again soon and I really miss it.  I signed up to play.  I started packing the kids' lunches again.  I am acutely aware of the fact that I am just a few decisions away from being back to over-scheduled.  I really don't want that.

Margin is a moving target- I plan to stay locked in on it.